Chick Magnet

Recently, a good friend of mine tried to convince me that I need to buy a new car. This happened after we(my car and I) were blindsided by the car demons with a three-pronged, attack consisting of a failing CV joint, broken exhaust pipe, and a bad starter or battery. For the record, I own a 1988, not too shiny but ever so faithful, Honda Civic Hatchback. It was as if he had been withholding his thoughts and waiting for the perfect opportunity to present them. Either way, in the midst of our conversation when I was faithfully and fervently defending my loyalty to my failing machine, the comment, "You know it's not much of a chick magnet." was made. Which I of course responded to by saying, "What are you talking about, there isn't a better chick magnet out there!" Realizing that the rest of the world might thing I'm crazy, I've decided to present the following reasons why my car is, indeed a chick magnet.

1. 40 miles per gallon - Translation - Here's a guy who cares about the environment. Which of course is all the rage these days. That's right ladies, there's more than just talk to this guy, there's fuel efficiency as well. Just think, if he cares about the environment, what would it be like if he cared about me. Talk is cheap.

2. It's cozy - Translation - Feel free to go for one of those slick guys who drive one of those oversized SUVs with gigantic cup holders, reclining lazy boy seats, and huge arm rests. But when it comes time to get close to your man, you're gonna need to do quite a lot of work. In my ride, close happens by default.

3. It's old - Translation - Cars are like houses. If you're one of those pick from six models, vinyl siding, sub-division type people you probably got the wrong guy. But if you're looking for that one of a kind, full of character, maybe with a few (or quite a few) quirks, old school house that screams there's only one like me. Then you've got the right guy here.

4. It's a bit ruff - Translation - It needs a ladies touch. Let's face it girls, get in one of those ever so shiny new cars, and all the details are already ironed out. Where's the fun in that.

5. Ok, it's 20 years old - Translation - It's got experience. You can go out with one of those acne induced, pubescent cars, or you can go out with a car that's had some time to mature. You know, time to work out the kinks, really figure out what he wants, choose some direction in life, and really knows how to treat a lady.

6. Small Engine - Translation - This cars made to go the distance. Nice and steady. No fear of quick burnouts like those other rides that initially jerk your head back, and appear to have the ability to really wow you until it is clear that they have given you their very best in under 6 seconds.

7. And finally, no translation needed, it's gotta be love if she's going out with me in that thing, cause I admit it's probably not scoring me any points.