I can't remember where, but recently I was reading something written by Brian McLaren on living the Christian life. He was comparing it to running a race. Recently, thanks to my "I'm Not 40 yet" workout plan, I've been spending a bit more time running on my own as well. So some of these next thoughts come from a recent run I took and a book a read.
Recently, I went out to run on the greenbelt next to my house. It was dark, cold, and had started to snow. The clouds were reflecting the glow of the city. I think this is a perfect time for running. For some reason I seem to like running more when it's the weather is doing something. Anyways, I started my run with the goal of running six miles. That is the farthest distance I have run since I destroyed my self and pride in a half-marathon about 4 years ago. So with my iPod blaring I started off running. In the beginning I was excited to get going, inspired to run farther, all pumped up because I was going to accomplish something. Miles 1-3 went by fairly smoothly. I was running because of the potential and because I was inspired.
After that, things started to get a bit harder. My legs started to get tired and my body/mind was starting to manipulate my will. "What are you doing?" it said, "You're fine. You've already run farther than you need to at this point, is six miles really that important to you? Just turn around now and you can enjoy your success. There's not point to continuing to push yourself. Don't you think six miles was a bit excessive? I mean come on, it'll be fine if you just stop here. It's not like anybody but you cares about this goal you've set for yourself."
But somehow, I just kept things going. I think music helps to drown out those voices in my head when I'm running. So miles 4 and 5 were more of a slogfest. I wasn't going very fast. And I really just wanted to turn around. At this point I just started thinking about the end. I was fixated on finding relief from the pain in my legs and relief from the endless mental assault going on in my head. All I could think about with each and every step was stopping. I was running just to get to the end.
Around the end of mile 5 though, I began to run for a different reason. My mind wasn't trying to defeat my will anymore. My body experienced a renewal of energy. The distance I had already come was so much greater than the distance I had left to go. Once I realized I was going to finish, I began to enjoy running. I could move past the pain in my legs much easier. I ran because I knew the hard part was over.
At the end of mile 6 a funny thing happened. I was enjoying running so much that I just ran straight past the finish line. I didn't even slow down. "What the heck do you think you're doing?!" screamed my head. "Running," I said "Isn't that the point?" I was now running because I could.
I ended up running 8 miles that night and afterwards I was left thinking about some pretty strong parallels between the way I ran that night, and the way I pursue my faith. You see many times I feel like I am living just to get to the end. Just to get to heaven some might say or in reality just to get to some different place in my life where things aren't quite as hard and life is fun again(or just plain easier). When I'm running this way, the joy in my life quickly disappears. Living for anything but relief becomes drudgery because I'm fixated on how hard things are and keep entertaining the temptations that keep boiling up in my head to just give up on whatever it is I'm struggling to pursue. I begin to think that the point of life or a specific hardship is to just get to the end. I can no longer enjoy the race. I can no longer love life or anyone in my life.
Just as running guarantees pain, love guarantees sacrifice. Many, many times I begin to wish that I could run without feeling the pain. I also begin to wish I could love God and others without making any sacrifices.
What if I began to see my life not as an opportunity to just get to the finish line. Because in that mindset I try to love as few people as possible without totally giving up on the race I'm running. What if I began to see my life as an opportunity to love as many people as possible. To run as hard as I could. Because the point was to run, to run for the joy of it, not because I had to, or because anyone else thought I should, but because I could. Because the point of life was to run the race; not just get to the end.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
If I get to the end someday, I have a sneaking suspicion that I will have only crossed the starting line.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Jayber Crow
I'm about to finish a book called Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry. Here's a page or so from it that I've been mulling over since I started it.
Jayber Crow is at seminary in this part of the story:
And so finally, late one afternoon, I went to the professor I was afraid to go to, old Dr. Ardmire. I was afraid to go to him because I knew he would tell me the truth.....
I knocked at his open door and waited until he read to a stopping place and looked up from his book.
"Come in , Mr. J. Crow" He didn't like it that I went by my initial.
I went in.
He said, "Have a seat, please."
I sat down.
Customarily, when I came to see him I would be bringing work that he had required me to talk with him about. That day I was empty-handed.
Seeing that I was, he said, "What have you got in mind?"
"Well," I said, "I've got a lot of questions."
He said, "Perhaps you would like to say what they are?"
"Well, for instance," I said, "if Jesus said for us to love our enemies-- and He did say that, didn't He?--how can it ever be right to kill our enemies? And if He said not to pray in public, how come we're all the time praying in public? And if Jesus' own prayer in the garden wasn't granted, what is there for us to pray, except 'thy will be done,' which there's no use in praying because it will be done anyhow?"
I sort of ran down. He didn't say anything. He was looking straight at me. Adn then I realized that he wasn't looking at me the way he usually did. I seemed to see way back in his eyes a little gleam of light. It was a light of kindness and (as I now think) of amusement.
He said, "Have you anymore?"
"Well, for instance," I said, for it had just occurred to me, "suppose you prayed for something and you got it, how do you know how you got it? How do you know you didn't get it because you were going to get it whether you prayed for it or not? So how do you know it does any good to pray? You woudl need proof, wouldn't you?
He nodded.
"But there's no way to get any proof."
He shook his head. We looked at each other.
He said, "Do you have any answers?"
"No," I said. I was concentrating so hard, looking at him, you could have nailed my foot to the floor and I wouldn't have felt it.
"So," I said, "I reckon what it all comes down to is, how can I preach if I don't have any answers?"
"Yes, Mr. Crow," he said. "How can you?" he was not one of your frying-sized chickens.
"I don't believe I can," I said, and I felt my skin turn cold, for I had not even thought that until then.
He said, "No, I don't believe you can." And we sate there and looked at each other again while he waited for me to see the nextg thing, so he wouldnt' have to tell me: I oughtn't to waste any time resigning my scholarship and leaving Pigeonville. I saw it soon enough.
I said, "Well," for now I was ashamed, "I had this feeling maybe I had been called."
"And you may have been right. But not to what you thought. Not to what you think. You have been given questions to which you cannot be given answers. You will have to live them out -- perhaps a little at a time."
"And how long is that going to take?"
"I don't know. As long as you live, perhaps."
"That could be a long time."
"I will tell you a further mystery," he said. "It may take longer."
He held out his hand to me and I shook it. As I started to leave, it came to me that of all the teachers I'd had in school he was the kindest, and I turned around. I was going to thank him, but he had gone back to his book.
Jayber Crow is at seminary in this part of the story:
And so finally, late one afternoon, I went to the professor I was afraid to go to, old Dr. Ardmire. I was afraid to go to him because I knew he would tell me the truth.....
I knocked at his open door and waited until he read to a stopping place and looked up from his book.
"Come in , Mr. J. Crow" He didn't like it that I went by my initial.
I went in.
He said, "Have a seat, please."
I sat down.
Customarily, when I came to see him I would be bringing work that he had required me to talk with him about. That day I was empty-handed.
Seeing that I was, he said, "What have you got in mind?"
"Well," I said, "I've got a lot of questions."
He said, "Perhaps you would like to say what they are?"
"Well, for instance," I said, "if Jesus said for us to love our enemies-- and He did say that, didn't He?--how can it ever be right to kill our enemies? And if He said not to pray in public, how come we're all the time praying in public? And if Jesus' own prayer in the garden wasn't granted, what is there for us to pray, except 'thy will be done,' which there's no use in praying because it will be done anyhow?"
I sort of ran down. He didn't say anything. He was looking straight at me. Adn then I realized that he wasn't looking at me the way he usually did. I seemed to see way back in his eyes a little gleam of light. It was a light of kindness and (as I now think) of amusement.
He said, "Have you anymore?"
"Well, for instance," I said, for it had just occurred to me, "suppose you prayed for something and you got it, how do you know how you got it? How do you know you didn't get it because you were going to get it whether you prayed for it or not? So how do you know it does any good to pray? You woudl need proof, wouldn't you?
He nodded.
"But there's no way to get any proof."
He shook his head. We looked at each other.
He said, "Do you have any answers?"
"No," I said. I was concentrating so hard, looking at him, you could have nailed my foot to the floor and I wouldn't have felt it.
"So," I said, "I reckon what it all comes down to is, how can I preach if I don't have any answers?"
"Yes, Mr. Crow," he said. "How can you?" he was not one of your frying-sized chickens.
"I don't believe I can," I said, and I felt my skin turn cold, for I had not even thought that until then.
He said, "No, I don't believe you can." And we sate there and looked at each other again while he waited for me to see the nextg thing, so he wouldnt' have to tell me: I oughtn't to waste any time resigning my scholarship and leaving Pigeonville. I saw it soon enough.
I said, "Well," for now I was ashamed, "I had this feeling maybe I had been called."
"And you may have been right. But not to what you thought. Not to what you think. You have been given questions to which you cannot be given answers. You will have to live them out -- perhaps a little at a time."
"And how long is that going to take?"
"I don't know. As long as you live, perhaps."
"That could be a long time."
"I will tell you a further mystery," he said. "It may take longer."
He held out his hand to me and I shook it. As I started to leave, it came to me that of all the teachers I'd had in school he was the kindest, and I turned around. I was going to thank him, but he had gone back to his book.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Diametric Faces of God
“These days I own a Dellapple”
How is it that two people can walk into a church and have such drastically different experiences? One person finds a life giving, inspiring, and inviting group of people that immediately enables them to relax and breather a little easier. They smile and energetically engage the people and place that they have just entered. The other person immediately puts up their guard, full of suspicion and critique. Not able to accept that the motives of these “nice” people can truly be real and sincere.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
I'm not 40 yet:
I recently "discovered" a brand new workout plan unlike any other. It's called the I'm not 40 yet workout routine. This is how it works. Look in the mirror at yourself. Tell yourself, "Self, you're not 40 yet." Then ask yourself, "Self, why am I working out like I'm 40?" When the Self tells you it's because you're lazy and working out takes work (hence the name), not just 2 half-hearted jogs a weak, take the following steps:
Thank Self.
Get pissed.
Go actually workout.
This blog makes no attempt to discriminate based upon age. If you are over 40, all is not lost. Simply, replace 40 with a motivating number of your choosing.
Thank Self.
Get pissed.
Go actually workout.
This blog makes no attempt to discriminate based upon age. If you are over 40, all is not lost. Simply, replace 40 with a motivating number of your choosing.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Thank You David Crowder Band
Life makes it so hard sometimes
To know what's real
When I can't feel You there
When I can't see You there
When I can't comprehend that
You are there
You are there
You're everywhere
You are everywhere
Lyrics by David Crowder Band
I am enjoying my new CD today
To know what's real
When I can't feel You there
When I can't see You there
When I can't comprehend that
You are there
You are there
You're everywhere
You are everywhere
Lyrics by David Crowder Band
I am enjoying my new CD today
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Banff, Beer, and Dollars
I got to visit Banff, Canada recently for the NOLS Wilderness Risk Management Conference. It was a great time and that's where the picture above is from. I didn't get to do much exploring, but I didn't have to go far either to be surrounded by some spectacular scenery. I already want to go back and go backpacking or something.
A couple of things I found out while I was there:
12 cans of Budweiser cost approximately $24.
In case you didn't know the Canadian dollar is actually stronger than the U.S. dollar now.
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police don't ride horses any more, they drive patrol cars. I liked all the Canadians I met.
If you get pulled over for going 50km over the speed limit, the police can take your plates off your car and put you in jail immediately. (I did not have this experience)
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Snow in the City
 |
| From City of Rocks |
I went to the City of Rocks recently to do some climbing. It was a wonderful trip. Here's a picture I took when we woke up and had 4 inches of snow on the ground.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Blown by the Wind
I spent an evening recently reading The Great Evangelical Disaster by Francis Schaeffer. The following quote gives you a fairly good idea of what the book is about.
"And if we hold this world view [a world view based upon the idea that the final reality is impersonal matter or energy shaped into its present form by impersonal chance] we live in a universe that is ultimately silent, with no meaning and purpose, with no basis for law and morality, with no concept of what it means to be human and of the value of human life. All is relative and arbitrary. And so modern man is left with nothing to fill the void but hedonism or materialism or whatever other "ism" may be blowing in the wind."
(Francis A. Schaeffer, The Great Evangelical Disaster, Ch. 1)
More quotes from the book: here
One quote especially has stuck in my mind.
"Truth demands confrontation. It must be loving confrontation, but there must be confrontation nonetheless."
This one has been sitting in my head for a few days now. I'm wrestling with it as I try to formulate what I really think about it. These days it seems as if I'm constantly trying to balance on a small tightrope between two extremes: Truth without Love(characterized by self-righteousness, which I can't stand) and Love without Truth(characterized by accommodation, which is many times motivated by my fear of confrontation and offending). Embracing either extreme brings forth neither Love or Truth. My tendency is to wish Jesus would have just accommodated once and a while. But I really don't think he did.
"And if we hold this world view [a world view based upon the idea that the final reality is impersonal matter or energy shaped into its present form by impersonal chance] we live in a universe that is ultimately silent, with no meaning and purpose, with no basis for law and morality, with no concept of what it means to be human and of the value of human life. All is relative and arbitrary. And so modern man is left with nothing to fill the void but hedonism or materialism or whatever other "ism" may be blowing in the wind."
(Francis A. Schaeffer, The Great Evangelical Disaster, Ch. 1)
More quotes from the book: here
One quote especially has stuck in my mind.
"Truth demands confrontation. It must be loving confrontation, but there must be confrontation nonetheless."
This one has been sitting in my head for a few days now. I'm wrestling with it as I try to formulate what I really think about it. These days it seems as if I'm constantly trying to balance on a small tightrope between two extremes: Truth without Love(characterized by self-righteousness, which I can't stand) and Love without Truth(characterized by accommodation, which is many times motivated by my fear of confrontation and offending). Embracing either extreme brings forth neither Love or Truth. My tendency is to wish Jesus would have just accommodated once and a while. But I really don't think he did.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tight Calves, Loose Glutes, and a Weak Lower Back
After a year at the Idaho Athletic Club I recently received a call from Melissa, a personal trainer, informing me that I'm still eligible for a free physical consultation as part of my gym membership.
Of course I went. I stood on a scale, measured my body fat percentage, and did a squat with my arms raised above my heads while she walked around looking at my form. Which I felt like a total bafoon doing. The results: 15.5 % Body Fat. 185 lbs. My lower back has a very poor arch and I have very tight calves and hamstrings as well as lats. Since these muscles aren't relaxed, they're compensating and creating poor posture. Which means that my glutes are simply looking pretty instead of doing anything to really support my body like they should be.
Oh yeah, and I was offered four personal training sessions to help me achieve my physical goals for a very reasonable rate of $299. And I was told that it is extremely important to have a multi-vitamin. Those cost $20 for 50 vitamins that you take twice a day. "Uhm, yeah...I'll pass on those."
I think a guy like me kind of befuddles a personal trainer when I say I'm simply interested in going to the gym 3-5 times a week, and I just want to have a simple workout routine that will help me stay in shape. I don't want to record calories. Instead, I just want to know generally how much to eat. I don't want to record my weight. Instead, I just want to jump up and down naked in front of the mirror and make sure most of my body doesn't move.
Of course I went. I stood on a scale, measured my body fat percentage, and did a squat with my arms raised above my heads while she walked around looking at my form. Which I felt like a total bafoon doing. The results: 15.5 % Body Fat. 185 lbs. My lower back has a very poor arch and I have very tight calves and hamstrings as well as lats. Since these muscles aren't relaxed, they're compensating and creating poor posture. Which means that my glutes are simply looking pretty instead of doing anything to really support my body like they should be.
Oh yeah, and I was offered four personal training sessions to help me achieve my physical goals for a very reasonable rate of $299. And I was told that it is extremely important to have a multi-vitamin. Those cost $20 for 50 vitamins that you take twice a day. "Uhm, yeah...I'll pass on those."
I think a guy like me kind of befuddles a personal trainer when I say I'm simply interested in going to the gym 3-5 times a week, and I just want to have a simple workout routine that will help me stay in shape. I don't want to record calories. Instead, I just want to know generally how much to eat. I don't want to record my weight. Instead, I just want to jump up and down naked in front of the mirror and make sure most of my body doesn't move.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Don't bring Rick Warren with you when you go to prison
If you ever go to prison, don't bring Rick Warren with you. You might be a threat to the United States. I read these two articles recently about how the Government is screening books on faith in US prisons because they do not want them to become breeding grounds for terrorism.
Associated Press Article 8/22/07
New York Times Article 9/10/07
Here's a couple of sections of the article:
“Government does have a legitimate interest to screen out things that tend to incite violence in prisons,” Mr. Laycock said. “But once they say, ‘We’re going to pick 150 good books for your religion, and that’s all you get,’ the criteria has become more than just inciting violence. They’re picking out what is accessible religious teaching for prisoners, and the government can’t do that without a compelling justification. Here the justification is, the government is too busy to look at all the books, so they’re going to make their own preferred list to save a little time, a little money.”
Among the books banned at their prison were "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner, and "The Purpose-Driven Life" by the Rev. Rick Warren, the lawsuit said.
Associated Press Article 8/22/07
New York Times Article 9/10/07
Here's a couple of sections of the article:
“Government does have a legitimate interest to screen out things that tend to incite violence in prisons,” Mr. Laycock said. “But once they say, ‘We’re going to pick 150 good books for your religion, and that’s all you get,’ the criteria has become more than just inciting violence. They’re picking out what is accessible religious teaching for prisoners, and the government can’t do that without a compelling justification. Here the justification is, the government is too busy to look at all the books, so they’re going to make their own preferred list to save a little time, a little money.”
Among the books banned at their prison were "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner, and "The Purpose-Driven Life" by the Rev. Rick Warren, the lawsuit said.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Dobbson and "Focus" reject album cover for new Christan Band
In recent news,Dobbson and "Focus" have rejected an album cover for an up and coming Christan band....stating that "it may cause people, especially young Christian woman to go astray". Apparently if the album does go to press it will bear the new "Explicit Hotness" rating. A label reserved only for the truly beautiful in society.
High Tide, the lead singer of the band, responded to the dilemma by saying, "I was thinking we should switch to wearing square frame glasses while looking contemplatively to the sky. That way we can still be so hot but less suggestive. This way we might at least capture the "Plain White Tees" audience and still remain uplifting."
High Tide, the lead singer of the band, responded to the dilemma by saying, "I was thinking we should switch to wearing square frame glasses while looking contemplatively to the sky. That way we can still be so hot but less suggestive. This way we might at least capture the "Plain White Tees" audience and still remain uplifting."
.....this post is a sin an entirely fictitious.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Extroverted Intiuition & Introverted Thinking...Is Myers Briggs God?
I've been inspired. I've had an aha moment. Miss Wingett has compelled me to begin a blog. So now being therefore compelled, I must start somewhere. And what better place to start then here.
I've been reading my personality test recently and I've identified strongly with the ENTP type. If you're interested in reading it you can find it at personalitypage.com just look for the ENTP type. You'll find that I am motivated by possibilities, full of ideas, frustrated by routine, and can have trouble in relationships once I get bored with people. Oh yeah, and I don't pay good attention to peoples feelings and I can exhibit infectious enthusiasm. For example, I've been mulling over this personality profile during the day and a friend of mine, who has never had interest what so ever in personality tests, said tonight that she now has a desire to see what her personality test reveals. Funny since earlier today she said that the last time she did one of these things she started skipping questions and lost interest less than halfway through. I shouldn't be surprised. The test said this would happen.
In reality, all I'm trying to say is that today my mind has been absorbed by the intricacies of the Extroverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiver. I guess it should come as no surprise since that's what the test says would happen anyways.
Which brings up a very important questions. If Myers Briggs has had enough insight to intricately produce a portrait of the inner workings of my personality, predict what kind of person my love life will be best lived with, and give me recommendations on fulfilling career choices; I'm left with only one question. Is Myers Briggs God?
I've been reading my personality test recently and I've identified strongly with the ENTP type. If you're interested in reading it you can find it at personalitypage.com just look for the ENTP type. You'll find that I am motivated by possibilities, full of ideas, frustrated by routine, and can have trouble in relationships once I get bored with people. Oh yeah, and I don't pay good attention to peoples feelings and I can exhibit infectious enthusiasm. For example, I've been mulling over this personality profile during the day and a friend of mine, who has never had interest what so ever in personality tests, said tonight that she now has a desire to see what her personality test reveals. Funny since earlier today she said that the last time she did one of these things she started skipping questions and lost interest less than halfway through. I shouldn't be surprised. The test said this would happen.
In reality, all I'm trying to say is that today my mind has been absorbed by the intricacies of the Extroverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiver. I guess it should come as no surprise since that's what the test says would happen anyways.
Which brings up a very important questions. If Myers Briggs has had enough insight to intricately produce a portrait of the inner workings of my personality, predict what kind of person my love life will be best lived with, and give me recommendations on fulfilling career choices; I'm left with only one question. Is Myers Briggs God?
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